Monologue #1: You want me to teach you something? Alright, here's a useful lesson: Give up! Just quit! Because in this life you can't win. Because the world is run by the man! The man's everywhere: in the White House, down the hall; Miss Mullins: she's the man! Okay! And there used to be a way to stick it to the man, it was called rock 'n roll. But guess what? The man had to ruin that too with a little thing called MTV!
Monologue #2: Mom, it’s not my fault my room’s a mess! I was playing with my toys. Only four of them. Then, this huge spaceship landed and a slimy, green alien jumped in the window. He knocked all the books off my shelf and picked up my toy box and dumped it all over my room. So I threw a Frisbee at him and it bonked him on his head and he slimed out the window and the spaceship disappeared into the sky. Geez, Mom, you should be happy I’m still alive!
Monologue #3: Why do you watch the news every night, Dad? It’s boooooooring. The news is just a bunch of guys talking. Can’t we watch the cartoon channel? Don’t you like to laugh? Here, I’ll be the news guy: “Tonight everyone is very boring in the whole world. The whole world is boring and bunch of other guys said boring things and the weather is boring. Have a boring night. I’m boring. Good night.” That’s it! I just did the news for you. Now you don’t have to watch it! Let’s watch cartoons!
Duo Scene – Rock of Ages (can be boys or girls) DREW Wow, right off the bus and hittin’ auditions. Pretty cool. SHERRIE Well, I ain’t gonna make it sitting around, right? DREW Guess that’s true SHERRIE So where you from? DREW Detroit... (raises his right hand and points to his palm) Michigan. SHERRIE So, you come out here to be a rockstar, Wolfgang? DREW Oh, I don’t know. I guess. SHERRIE Guess? There’s no “guess.” You want something? You wanna be one of those multi-platinum Gods? You gotta just take it. DREW Okay. SHERRIE Okay, what? DREW Sure, yes I’d like-- SHERRIE “Like” nothing. Forceful. Right now. What’s bustin’ out of your heart,? What do you want? DREW I... (frustrated) I don’t know. I guess I want... SHERRIE Come on! Don’t think. First thing that comes out of your mouth! DREW Well... SHERRIE Say it, Wolfgang!! DREW (sung a capella) I WANNA ROCK!! Duo Scene (Boy and Girl)
Duo Scene (Boy Meets Girl) Boy: How's it going? Girl: Ok. Boy: How about that coloring inside the lines, huh? Girl: Yeah, it's pretty tough. Boy: I mean, I'm five. I don't need those boundaries. Girl: Counting to 20 is hard. Boy: Tell me about it. Up to 9 it's easy, then you get to the teens, and it's just like, woah. Girl: And it is it really necessary to be tested in front of the entire class. Like I need that added pressure. Boy: And that spelling bee this morning... Girl: Oh yeah, sorry I can't spell “parachute” correctly. Like that's really a first round word. Boy: Yeah. “C-H”? What are those letters doing in that word? Girl: I know, right?! (they laugh...pause) So, what do you want to be when you grow up? Boy: I'd rather not say. It's stupid. Girl: Just tell me. Boy: (a bit embarrassed) I want to be a cowboy. Girl: Me too! Boy: No way! Girl: Way! Boy: You're like the coolest girl ever! Girl: I know!